8/15/06

The Fight for Santa Claus(e) - [the "e" is optional, like in shop"pe"

In the Battle of Good vs. Evil, we as good people of the human race are often drawn to choose, in the case that we were thrust into service, which of the many Super Heroes we would be, and are compelled to explain how their powers truly benefit the world.

Well I'm putting it out there, and my vote is in for the big man in the red suit. I'm talking about Santa Clause people.


While in the midst of a discussion on this topic, I ran into several naysayers; non-believers even, which has led me to say that he who does not believe that Santa is a Super Hero mustn't believe in Santa at all, and therefore is heartless and cold.

So explain to me how Santa is a Super Hero you say; but I must say look no further than your typical hero powers and you will find he encapsulates everything that the ideal of a Super Hero is about.

Santa is a good-hearted being with the best interests of all of humanity in mind. He is wise, kind, and most importantly has a band of loyal supporters (elves). He also has adversaries (grinches) and he must overcome them by demoralizing their spirit (coal in the stocking). He also has special powers, as he knows what every person in the world wants for Christmas (telekinesis) and he can flawlessly deliver everything he promises (super-virtue) all within the span of one short night (super-speed). He can also make his Reindeer fly (that's levitation, homes) and fit his fat-ass down everyone's chimney (morphing ability). But most importantly, once he has done his work, the world is a happier, more joy-filled, all around better place.

Anti-Kringlites worldwide may have a problem with my concept of Super Santa, but I shall not waiver from this position. Anyone who could bring me a regular Nintendo 3 years after its release will always be considered a Super Hero in my book. Luckily my book is not very long and is filled with illustrations.

8/11/06

Stories from the Workplace

Earlier today I was sitting on the couch reading, as it is my day off, and my roommate Alex walks into the apartment just after noon; all grins.

Naturally I ask, "So what's going on Alex?" to which he delightfully responded with the following story.

"So we're leaving work right, and we were downstairs, about to walk across the street. We're all talking and laughing about what we'll be doing this weekend, and our group supervisor Jane Mullens walks up behind us. Well I see her, so I say, 'Yeah, I'm looking forward to this weekend, but I'm mostly just glad to be getting away from that cranky Jane Mullens!' Well I saw her so I was kind of looking back smiling, but this other girl in the group didn't see her there and she went on with it and said, 'Oh I know, like how she goes, (in a mocking tone) 'I got your email attachment...THAAAANKS!!!' So I say, 'Oh, well I was just kidding around because Jane is standing right behind us,' and proceeded to look back at Jane who had this look on her face like, 'I mean, what the f**k, I'm standing right here and I heard that!' So I didn't know what to do, so I sort of just awkwardly laughed and bolted across the street, leaving the rest of them all standing there between me and the passing traffic."

These are certainly the things that keep us going in the workplace.